Oh bittersweet Mother's Day...

I’m a day late and a dollar short on the Mother’s Day train, but hey- what’s new?

Yesterday I celebrated what was probably one of the most awesome days ever- Mother’s Day!  It was also a sad day for me. It was my first mother’s day and it was (probably) my Grandmother’s last as she is diagnosed with terminal cancer. I did get a (not so great) picture of her, my mom, Wes, and I, but it is still probably one of the most cherished photos I will ever have. 

Wes was also dedicated at church Saturday night in front of family, friends, and of course his awesome Godparents Maureen and Al. Overall, it was an amazing weekend and I was definitely spoiled and celebrated and it felt AWESOME!

However, it hasn’t always been that way, not by far. For the past 4 years, Mother’s Day was just a big smack in the face. To people who suffer from infertility, have lost a child, or who are waiting to adopt- Mother’s Day is awful, dreadful, terrible…. Need I continue? I avoided going to church Mother’s Day weekend. Literally could not handle it. I remember 4 years ago when I went and they had an entire talk about how wonderful mother’s are (yes, yes I know they are fabulous), but the entire time all I could think about was how badly I wanted to be one of them. It was sad and depressing and I remember finally getting up and going to the bathroom to ugly cry because I couldn’t sit through that anymore. I wouldn’t wish that upon anyone.

So to my friends who are reading this who are waiting… waiting to adopt, waiting to conceive, waiting for your baby to be born, or missing a child that is gone- my heart goes out to you on Mother’s Day especially as I know how hard it is to sit there and wish other’s a Happy Mother’s Day. I hope that those of you waiting will soon know the joy of being a mother.

Lots of love,

Amanda