Rough. Day.

I don’t have anything new to share.

This is one of those “just waiting” posts. I just felt like I had a lot on my heart. Today was just particularly difficult, for no apparent reason. I woke up and my heart just hurt. And I'm warning you in advance, this post is literally ALL OVER THE PLACE. There is no point, I just needed to vent.

I belong to a few online support groups for adoption and there has been a ton of action lately (aka, lots of births and lots of families being chosen- up to 3+ per day) which is awesome, unless you’re just waiting. It’s like when your friends tell you they’re pregnant or they have a baby. You’re honestly so happy for them because you love them, but secretly-you’d rather go hide in the bathroom and cry.

I’ve been trying to throw myself into work to keep myself occupied. People are constantly telling me that I spend way too much time at school, but the alternative is going home where so often my mind wanders to that closed door in the upstairs that hides that beautiful nursery that remains empty. My class this year is great and I love them to pieces. Sometimes to the point where I feel guilty for wanting a baby so badly, because it means I won’t be with them all the time.

This was posted in the support group today…

I just have to keep reminding myself. 

God has a plan. 

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Jeremiah 29:11

So, the wait continues…

P.S. To my fellow waiting families, this blog post is too funny. You should probably check it out, or if you’re a parent- you may enjoy her other posts!

http://www.scarymommy.com/baby-shower-envy/